Clash of the Titans

Clash of the Titans (2010)
Directed by Louis Leterrier
Length: 118 minutes
Rated PG-13 for fantasy action violence, some frightening images and brief sensuality



Anytime you include ancient mythology in a film, I get a little excited. Granted, my personal interest was always more in Egyptian mythology than Greek/Roman (I blame Stargate for this). So you can imagine my excitement when I saw the initial previews for Clash of the Titans: gods, mythical creatures, CGI battle sequences, hell even 3D! After wasting $14 to see this garbage in 3D on opening night, I can only say I'm thankful we now have a foil to the beautiful 3D and CGI that was Avatar.

A remake of the 1981 campy classic, Clash of the Titans is the story of demigod Perseus who must embrace his "godness" in order to defeat the monstrous Kraken threatening to conquer man. There is really no point in covering the plot since the movie doesn't bother to either. It's one thing to quickly get to the action and keep the pace fast, after all many action films do so quite well. However, it is another thing to make the story seem as if the projectionist is fast-forwarding through any semblance of story in order to cram in more "action" scenes; and by action scenes I mean jerky camera shots that jump so quick you can't tell what you are looking at!

Now is a good time to review the popular money-making phenomenon that is sweeping theaters across the country: 3D. This is a perfect example of what is not acceptable when it comes to the third dimension, and how Avatar (sorry Daniel, it's true) got it right. Clash of the Titans, like Alice in Wonderland and many more 3D films to come, was originally filmed in 2D like most every movie currently is. After filming is completed, the studios decide to convert the film to 3D post-production, all in order to cash in on the 3D craze. Unfortunately, this often leaves the film a bit hazy and skews the colors and contrast. Compare that with Avatar, which was completely filmed in 3D. The images in that film seem crisper, smoother, and more organic. The colors are more vivid, and the extra dimension adds more depth and texture as opposed to simply popping out. Clash of the Titans makes me seriously consider boycotting all 3D films not filmed exclusively in 3D. If you must see this film, I would recommend saving the extra cash and suffer in 2D.

Let's be honest, I don't watch action films for the acting or plot. But dear god, I can't stand when the dialog is so campy that it would be better suited as a B-movie on the Syfy channel! I'm pretty sure I've seen better acting in a 4th grade passion play! The film is just bad. Period. It almost reaches the point of being so bad that it is good. If Mystery Science Theater 3000 still roasted movies, this would be contestant #1! I don't know how else to say it, this film is AWFUL!

So after spending millions of dollars on a piece of crap covered in tinfoil, is there anything good to say about the film? Well, the creature designs are decent for the most part, and the settings are "cool." But for the most part, the film is a giant cesspool of bad acting, one line dialog meant to make 8th graders giggle, jerky action shots, terrible 3D presentation, hazy/blurry visuals that make me feel as if I need to get tested for cataracts, etc etc etc. If you just must see this film, I implore you to save your money and just rent it. Unfortunately, this film will probably be number one at the box office after this weekend; so do us all a favor and don't support such an epic failure. I've never done this before, but I'm pulling it out for this film. I give it a whopping...zero stars!

Final Rating: 0 out of 5 stars

Favorite Quote: "Calm your storm." (Use your 8th grade hormone imagination)