2012

2012 (2009)
Directed by Roland Emmerich
Length: 158 minutes
Rated PG-13 for intense disaster sequences and some languages




Let's start this review off with a little game of Mad-Libs:

This (past) summer, Roland Emmerich brings his latest destruction-filled, CGI-intensive, mayhem-ensuing, end-of-the-world thriller. This time around, the world is threatened by (blank) who/that will destroy civilization as we know it. There will be scenes involving people/cars/planes/etc. running from falling buildings. There will be at least one scene involving a (blank) destroying the White House. One of the main characters will have a broken relationship with his wife that will be repaired as a result of the destruction. And in the end, some brave soul will sacrifice himself by (blank), sparing the fate of humanity.

As you can see from the above attempt at humor, famed king of destruction Roland Emmerich has a formula he likes to stick to when it comes to making a movie. Not simply a MO or similar themes/content consistently present in his films, Emmerich simply reuses the same script for all of his movies, with the major "change" being what is causing the destruction. Look at his track record: Independence Day - aliens, Day After Tomorrow - global warming, 10,000 B.C. - warlords?, so on and so on. Just how many different ways can you destroy the White House on screen? I dare say Roland Emmerich will film them all.

This go around, 2012 focuses on the Mayans and their mysterious calendar that ends on December 21, 2012; a date some believe will mark the end of the world when the planets align. What ensues is a heavy handed attempt to play on your emotions and sense of perseverance and pride in humanity as people around the world band together to survive their imminent demise. There really is no point in summarizing the plot beyond this as I am sure you are familiar with Emmerich's previous works; trust me, nothing is different. The "twist" are predictable, any attempt at symbolism is shallow and laughable, the dialogue is literally laugh-out-loud funny at times, and the "heart-wrenching" moments will once again incite more laughs than tears.

Don't get me wrong, when I watch an action movie or summer popcorn flick, I don't always expect an Oscar-caliber plot or award winning performances. I will in fact give 2012 props where they are due: 1) the science, whether accurate or not, is believable and relatively explained in full, 2) the CGI is pretty good, and 3) there are some chuckles to be had, whether intended or not is another question. That being said, I truly believe I may have enjoyed the film more without dialogue; on multiple occasions I found a scene was ruined or negatively affected by the terrible commentary or pathetic attempt at acting. For a film full of quality actors and actresses, it is hard to see the luster of their star power through all the flies buzzing around this pile, and trust me, I will usually like anything including John Cusack.

All things considered, 2012 is not the worst movie ever, nor is it even close to being considered a good movie. The film relies on caricatures and stereotypes to a fault, the destruction is over-the-top, the dialogue is laughable, so on and so on. The bottom line is, this is just another mindless popcorn thriller aimed at the summer audiences looking for a cheap thrill. Unfortunately, those with a more mature palate will be left with the awful taste of stale popcorn.

Final Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Favorite Quote:
President Thomas Wilson: [seconds before the White House is destroyed] "I'm coming home, Dorthy."